Relationships
Make asking for help more specific
Turn a vague request into a manageable agreement with your support circle.
2 minute read · A small idea to try
Name the whole task
Household work includes noticing, planning and following through. ‘Please help more’ can leave two people picturing different things. Choose one recurring task that would make this week easier and describe what completing it includes.
Ask for an agreement
Choose a calm time. Try: ‘I am finding dinner planning difficult this week. Could you choose Tuesday's meal, check the ingredients and cook it?’ Ask what is realistic for the other person, too. Support might come from a partner, relative, friend or another trusted person.
Leave room for different methods
Agree on the result, a time and any important needs, such as allergies. Unless safety is involved, the task does not have to be done exactly your way. If someone cannot take the whole job, divide it clearly so neither person has to guess.
Review with kindness
After trying the agreement, ask what worked and what needs changing. For example, shopping may be easier than cooking on a late workday. Put the next task into your planner with an assignee. Assignment in Momora is a private label; tell the person about the agreement yourself.
One thing to take with you
One clear agreement can make support easier to give and easier to receive.